( The question hangs like a balloon filling with water, so close to bursting with the seconds that tick by. Peter's tongue pushes against the back of his teeth; he's resisting answering. He doesn't want to. He reaches up to rub his fingers against his red eyes, still not looking up at Falco. )
Because I'm supposed to be— better. Stronger. Not...
(...This. This shaking, crying thing. Falco shouldn't have to see him like this again; how many times by now has the younger boy seen how weak Peter is? But it's even deeper than that, and his voice is hoarse as he continues— )
I didn't want you to see me like this. Like... that. In the memory. I didn't want you to know— I didn't want anyone to know— what I did.
( His voice picks up some speed, the words tumbling out; he's so easily overwhelmed by them and they're spilling, and he's crying again. )
....how I left her. ( The act itself was.... horrific, but what came afterwards, too... ) I just kept driving, I just— I just left her like that, and my mom had to find her— I did that to her. How could I do that to her...! How could I?
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Because I'm supposed to be— better. Stronger. Not...
( ...This. This shaking, crying thing. Falco shouldn't have to see him like this again; how many times by now has the younger boy seen how weak Peter is? But it's even deeper than that, and his voice is hoarse as he continues— )
I didn't want you to see me like this. Like... that. In the memory. I didn't want you to know— I didn't want anyone to know— what I did.
( His voice picks up some speed, the words tumbling out; he's so easily overwhelmed by them and they're spilling, and he's crying again. )
....how I left her. ( The act itself was.... horrific, but what came afterwards, too... ) I just kept driving, I just— I just left her like that, and my mom had to find her— I did that to her. How could I do that to her...! How could I?