[not to most people. maybe her brain is still muddled, but she is having a very, very hard time describing john as a definitive evil to herself. he has a way of sneaking his way into her heart (and detonating it from the inside). and she hates it. it should be easy, given everything he's done. but god damn it, she can't yet. she can't get over it. when she's more together, maybe she'll be able to put words to it.]
John, or Teacher, or Captain, or the Emperor, or That Guy With The Skeletons. Dark skin, black eyes. He hosted a house party a few months ago. He is not our friend. He's a bad man.
[ if it was something so rough that anna made herself a beast through the reckoning, through justice— it was something bad. very, very bad, but he wasn't sure whether it was a good idea to pry through that yet. instead, he nibbles along the edges for an understanding. it at least confirms one thing for him, as he sifts through his bank of memories. ]
Met him at party . Off , scary but treat kind . Kindness not real ? Or John make mistake ?
[god. of course. it fits with absolutely everything that she knows and everything that john has shown her. she doesn't want to overwhelm falco, but she might have to, just to make her point clear.]
He treated me the same way. We had a really good conversation about his home, Before he used me as bait to murder a boat full of pirates in a ritual to kill Mariana. John's made a lot of mistakes, but everything on the boat, everything that led to me running up that hill and meeting with the Reckoning, that was on purpose. He is not a good person. He's just really good at pretending.
[ his gut wrenches tightly even though his hunch had been on track. death and killing had been in the cards. there's nothing viler that humanity would kill for, back and forth. she had been angry, before. angry. why was anna bait?
it came up on its own. he takes it, with a chilled heart, down to the core, and asks after a waning pause. ]
[ah, christ. that's a loaded question, isn't it. she doesn't even know yet. she saw the ping in the group chat, yes, no matter how fucking hard seeing paul atreides makes her blood boil these days. she opens it up despite it all just to listen to midoriya's voice again. listen to him declare kainé dead and herself missing. she sighs. it takes a moment.]
The last I heard, Gideon, Oscar, and Kainé were dead. Gideon and Kainé are back.
[though not with anna. which is fantastic, sure. great. fine.]
You and I were marked as missing. So was someone named Chara. I don't know much more, but it seems like things are really bad right now.
[ he knew most of them, either by word or sight. if it was already icing up— now falco felt it. he felt his entire chest ice over and drop so hard he pulled a whipping breath between his teeth. he wasn’t even there, he was still putting the pieces together. he’s only now picked up his omni. how does he look through it? he can’t. he physically can’t. there’s so much perle could do for him before it started getting confusing.
It's fine. We couldn't do anything to stop it. I saw Gideon go overboard, and John let it happen. He let her die.
[she doesn't want to think about the others. she can't remember it all yet. she's still having so many problems piecing together what happened; it's still such a blur. she only remembers the major events, but of course she would.]
I wish I'd been able to hold myself back. Maybe then you wouldn't be on that list, too.
[no, none of it is fine, really. she has to live with this on her conscience forever, and she knows that she got off easy. she put falco in this state. she probably caused unrest that she's not even allowed to see anymore. john might have been the conductor, but she was first chair in his orchestra.]
[beth wouldn't recognize the person she is today, she thinks idly, out of nowhere, and she inhales sharply. it turns into a cough. everything does, lately.]
[ god dang, anna. it hurts his heart. he didn’t want to win— much less did he want to be a hero. ]
Just wanted you back .
[ it was more about being human toward her even when there had been so little of humanity left on the surface of raven wings and a vileblood coated blade. there had been acceptance toward what happened to him the second he empathized with her in the sky and saw the blade swing for the titan’s neck. he wishes to look forward to what he can do now, or at least from here onwards. that can change things. ]
Wish to see you But can’t, now Dangerous I am dangerous . And you need rest . Will you wait for me ?
[yeah, she says to herself. muttering it under her breath like she has a reason for anyone to overhear. i'm dangerous too, kid. she sighs and keeps it together long enough to reply, grateful that her anemia can't show over text.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[not to most people. maybe her brain is still muddled, but she is having a very, very hard time describing john as a definitive evil to herself. he has a way of sneaking his way into her heart (and detonating it from the inside). and she hates it. it should be easy, given everything he's done. but god damn it, she can't yet. she can't get over it. when she's more together, maybe she'll be able to put words to it.]
John, or Teacher, or Captain, or the Emperor, or That Guy With The Skeletons.
Dark skin, black eyes. He hosted a house party a few months ago.
He is not our friend. He's a bad man.
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Met him at party .
Off , scary
but treat kind .
Kindness not real ? Or John make mistake ?
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He treated me the same way. We had a really good conversation about his home,
Before he used me as bait to murder a boat full of pirates in a ritual to kill Mariana.
John's made a lot of mistakes, but everything on the boat, everything that led to me running up that hill and meeting with the Reckoning, that was on purpose.
He is not a good person. He's just really good at pretending.
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it came up on its own. he takes it, with a chilled heart, down to the core, and asks after a waning pause. ]
Others okay ?
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The last I heard, Gideon, Oscar, and Kainé were dead.
Gideon and Kainé are back.
[though not with anna. which is fantastic, sure. great. fine.]
You and I were marked as missing. So was someone named Chara.
I don't know much more, but it seems like things are really bad right now.
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but his eyes still sting, for everyone. ]
I so sorry
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We couldn't do anything to stop it.
I saw Gideon go overboard, and John let it happen. He let her die.
[she doesn't want to think about the others. she can't remember it all yet. she's still having so many problems piecing together what happened; it's still such a blur. she only remembers the major events, but of course she would.]
I wish I'd been able to hold myself back. Maybe then you wouldn't be on that list, too.
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We died , people hurt
People still hurting in heart .
[ . . . ]
You made choice Miss Anna
I make mine , I know risk .
I not mad .
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[beth wouldn't recognize the person she is today, she thinks idly, out of nowhere, and she inhales sharply. it turns into a cough. everything does, lately.]
I wish you had won.
You'd be a hero.
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Just wanted you back .
[ it was more about being human toward her even when there had been so little of humanity left on the surface of raven wings and a vileblood coated blade. there had been acceptance toward what happened to him the second he empathized with her in the sky and saw the blade swing for the titan’s neck. he wishes to look forward to what he can do now, or at least from here onwards. that can change things. ]
Wish to see you
But can’t, now
Dangerous
I am dangerous .
And you need rest .
Will you wait for me ?
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Of course I will, Falco.
For as long as it takes.
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Rest well Miss Anna ,
Will look as soon as normal .