[He watches Falco go, his omen at the boy's heels. He'll remain close and smoosh against Falco if he shows signs of being sad. No sads, only pets!]
[Jun startles slightly, having been lost in thought. He's... not used to that kind of energy. His father - adopted father, rather - had never been close with relatives on either side of his family.]
I'm... okay. In pain, but it's... I'm getting used to it.
... Glad he's okay, though. He still didn't say what happened.
[ she wants to say “you’ll feel better soon”, but perhaps she shouldn’t spoil too much of falco’s plans. ]
”Everyone is gone” is quite vague, isn’t it . . . [ but she sighs, soft and melancholy. ] Those who have ever meant something to him are as good as dead. Perhaps worse.
[ as long as it would help and save falco some breath— ]
You remember “The Rumbling”, don’t you? Well. They almost had it. Out of all the odds, they destroyed the host. The colossal giants stopped walking. But the— thing— A nasty thing that came out of him, it turned the innocents into pure titans. A last ditch effort to cause trouble.
Everyone that was not already like Falco had turned. Mother, Father, beloved. You have never seen a pure titan, have you? I’d prefer we keep it that way.
It is like watching a loved one become a beast, and there is no way out lest they put them down. But even then— fighters below were outnumbered. No one could last that long in the middle of a storm of hungry creatures.
[ perle’s head tilts and her eyes closed to receive the scritch, all with the softest of chirps. she even sighs in a tired, endeared way with the way her voice comes melancholy. ]
It’s thoughtful of you to think of helping that way. [ the facts had been that they were gone, already. no amount of outrageous thinking would bring a solution. instead of breaking that, perle measures her words, and encourages the boy in a different light. ] But do you know what would help, more than ever?
Your company. Your camaraderie. A feeling that there is someplace he still belongs, with people who love him just as much as he does.
It will not erase what has happened, but it will renew his strengths to continue down a new path.
[ ah, what is this now— perle cannot help the softest of giggles, chittering like the chirrups of a song bird. ]
Oh, Jun. Love is so ambiguous. So many shapes and colors— Brothers, friends, clans, lovers . . . You don’t want me making a soliloquy out of Falco’s last project, I can assure you.
[ that was meant to be something of a joke to keep the spirits light. anyway! she fluffs up at the sight of his flush, but maintains a certain adult-like posture. ]
You’re doing wonderfully, being yourself. That’s all you need.
[ perceptive as falco is, perle picks up on it and continues— without strain. ]
That is why I manifest the way I do. Who does not long for a Mother? [ to have a guide that is also a friend, a nurturer, a caretaker— it is what he misses. ] I've changed only a few times in voice and demeanor, but it seems we've settled on this.
[ and after a short pause: ]
You can trust me to talk about anything, Jun. I'd like to think I have the emotional balance to cope with things the way he'd like to, one day. He's just not there, yet. But I am. The soul is much wiser than the body.
[He responds without thinking - he really doesn't. He's never really had one.]
[... Even if he blamed Kana for the death of 'his' mother he barely remembers her. And his birth mother... that's a complicated topic.]
The soul, huh.
[He still doesn't believe in those, not really. But he sighs, wincing slightly as he moves.]
I... don't know. It's just... everything is complicated, and not in the fun sort of way. Things aren't puzzles or facts waiting to discover... things are messy. People are messy.
[ he is a hands-on, rational-type brain. facts were easier to understand instead of something that wasn't entirely concrete. perle tilts her head from side to side, but it seems more like a bird-like tick rather than questioning body language. ]
What is it that troubles you in these messy, ever-changing puzzles that are people? The sentiments? Or reading them—?
Both. It's not like there's a way to measure feelings. You can't hold them, you can't quantify them. Even if you rate them on a scale, they're still... not really measurable.
Facts - hard, quantifiable facts - are things that are easier to hold onto. You can say when something is true or not. Feelings aren't like that.
And a lot of the human - or... humanoid - mind is made up of feelings. I don't like that.
Yes. Feelings are felt. [ she tries her very best to put herself in his shoes, though. if she were one who needed to see things to believe it, than it would be hard to get a grasp of something so untageable. falco is thinking, and thus perle shares in his thinking. there is an idea, that's forming, and she'd like to put it out there for possible consideration— maybe help? ] Would it help if you experienced them for yourself? Or knew what someone else was thinking?
[ perle takes that in and extends her wing to receive the finger nudging a scratch within it. hm, she hums, thoughtful and indulgent. she hopes this works. she'd like to see them both happy. ]
Well, then. Look sharp. You have company making a swift return.
[ falco is at the door, coming through— in new clothes, a bag, and a golden retriever in tow. he looks a touch less sweaty. grimy— maybe he's quickly showered again, but maybe it's the thinking. and, of course, perle sending him comforting vibes. ]
[ falco shakes his head, adjusts the strap of his bag on his shoulder and begins opening it. he didn't want to say he wasn't hungry, even if his stomach was just sort of— blegh. perle keeps a watchful eye on him in a way that knows exactly what he's thinking. yes! her thoughts exactly! ]
I can get them for us, if you want. And um— I washed your clothes. [ they're in his bag, and he lifts it up, tucked within another smaller paper bag. confetti helped with the quickness of it while he gathered his belongings to stay the night. ] Thanks.
[ perle’s beak is sealed, for the most part. what is between her and jun is between them, privacy respected. falco nods, but slowly— he’s not exactly accepting of jun moving around when his joints were already painful. ]
I’ll be okay. [ he attempts a smile, slightly strained in his attempt to when his face muscles were so tense, but what comes next is a soft incline as he sets his things close to a chair.] You really should be resting.
Probably, but I"m just going to get stiff if I don't move...
[Nope, he's following Falco.]
There's some bread in the cupboard, and a little meat and some vegetables in the refrigerator. If you haven't eaten in a while you should start with something simple just to settle your stomach.
[ falco wrinkles his nose, but follows the instructions for the food to set on the table. the foods and following, the plates. maybe he'll just have a bread slice— but he nods at the offered advice properly. ]
[ falco shakes his head and takes a seat along with their supplied snacks. it’s a few moments until he manages speaking up with caution, all whilst munching on a (possibly prepared by help of jun) simple sandwich. ]
On the way back here . . . I was thinking of something.
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[Jun startles slightly, having been lost in thought. He's... not used to that kind of energy. His father - adopted father, rather - had never been close with relatives on either side of his family.]
I'm... okay. In pain, but it's... I'm getting used to it.
... Glad he's okay, though. He still didn't say what happened.
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”Everyone is gone” is quite vague, isn’t it . . . [ but she sighs, soft and melancholy. ] Those who have ever meant something to him are as good as dead. Perhaps worse.
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[He hesitates and pets her gently on the head with a few fingers.]
... What happened? If it's not too personal to ask. I just... want to understand, so I know how to help him better.
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You remember “The Rumbling”, don’t you? Well. They almost had it. Out of all the odds, they destroyed the host. The colossal giants stopped walking. But the— thing— A nasty thing that came out of him, it turned the innocents into pure titans. A last ditch effort to cause trouble.
Everyone that was not already like Falco had turned. Mother, Father, beloved. You have never seen a pure titan, have you? I’d prefer we keep it that way.
It is like watching a loved one become a beast, and there is no way out lest they put them down. But even then— fighters below were outnumbered. No one could last that long in the middle of a storm of hungry creatures.
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[Mostly he remembers how upset Falco was... it feels a little upsetting to remember it anyway.]
I... oh. So there was no way he could...
[He gives her a little bit of a scritch, for lack of an ability to give her a small hug.]
He needs help. I'm not really able to help him, though. I can't... fight things like that. If I had Zearth, maybe... but...
[But he can't get to Falco's world. But he doesn't have Zearth. And even if he did, he'd die after using Zearth.]
[If it could save Falco's people... maybe he could face it.]
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It’s thoughtful of you to think of helping that way. [ the facts had been that they were gone, already. no amount of outrageous thinking would bring a solution. instead of breaking that, perle measures her words, and encourages the boy in a different light. ] But do you know what would help, more than ever?
Your company. Your camaraderie. A feeling that there is someplace he still belongs, with people who love him just as much as he does.
It will not erase what has happened, but it will renew his strengths to continue down a new path.
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I'd like to bee there for him, but... uh. Love? I don't know that - I mean there's no way that he's...
[His face starts turning red and he fights against the urge to just hide his face in the pillow.]
I don't know that... love is something I can...
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Oh, Jun. Love is so ambiguous. So many shapes and colors— Brothers, friends, clans, lovers . . . You don’t want me making a soliloquy out of Falco’s last project, I can assure you.
[ that was meant to be something of a joke to keep the spirits light. anyway! she fluffs up at the sight of his flush, but maintains a certain adult-like posture. ]
You’re doing wonderfully, being yourself. That’s all you need.
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No, I don't.
[He glanced at that, but was utterly uninterested. He heard there was some chaos, but it didn't affect him, so... whatever.]
... You sound like you're someone's mom. ... He... mm.
['Must miss his parents' he wants to say, but it feels like not the right time.]
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That is why I manifest the way I do. Who does not long for a Mother? [ to have a guide that is also a friend, a nurturer, a caretaker— it is what he misses. ] I've changed only a few times in voice and demeanor, but it seems we've settled on this.
[ and after a short pause: ]
You can trust me to talk about anything, Jun. I'd like to think I have the emotional balance to cope with things the way he'd like to, one day. He's just not there, yet. But I am. The soul is much wiser than the body.
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[He responds without thinking - he really doesn't. He's never really had one.]
[... Even if he blamed Kana for the death of 'his' mother he barely remembers her. And his birth mother... that's a complicated topic.]
The soul, huh.
[He still doesn't believe in those, not really. But he sighs, wincing slightly as he moves.]
I... don't know. It's just... everything is complicated, and not in the fun sort of way. Things aren't puzzles or facts waiting to discover... things are messy. People are messy.
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What is it that troubles you in these messy, ever-changing puzzles that are people? The sentiments? Or reading them—?
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Facts - hard, quantifiable facts - are things that are easier to hold onto. You can say when something is true or not. Feelings aren't like that.
And a lot of the human - or... humanoid - mind is made up of feelings. I don't like that.
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[ or would that be too confusing, she wondered? ]
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I just... I mostly understand my feelings, most of the time. I'm good at reading people, at least their faces. But further in? It's a mystery.
[He scritches her at her wing joint, careful not to put too much pressure on it.]
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Well, then. Look sharp. You have company making a swift return.
[ falco is at the door, coming through— in new clothes, a bag, and a golden retriever in tow. he looks a touch less sweaty. grimy— maybe he's quickly showered again, but maybe it's the thinking. and, of course, perle sending him comforting vibes. ]
We're back.
And fresh! I cannot stand that muck.
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Good. I'm glad that you're feeling better.
[His omen goes in for a sniff at Jun's side and he sighs, rolling his eyes again at the dog and gently pushing the omen's nose away from his shirt.]
Yes, yes, I know you're glad to be back.
[He turns his attention back to Falco.]
Have you had anything to eat yet?
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I can get them for us, if you want. And um— I washed your clothes. [ they're in his bag, and he lifts it up, tucked within another smaller paper bag. confetti helped with the quickness of it while he gathered his belongings to stay the night. ] Thanks.
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I... I can get it. And... thanks.
[He didn't really expect his clothes to be washed, but he's glad that they were. He takes a deep breath, his omen at his heels.]
It's not a problem. I'm... just glad I could help you. You... seem like you've been through a rough time.
[Does Falco know what Perle said to him? He's not totally sure, but he's not going to bring it up directly. That seems... rude and painful.]
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I’ll be okay. [ he attempts a smile, slightly strained in his attempt to when his face muscles were so tense, but what comes next is a soft incline as he sets his things close to a chair.] You really should be resting.
[ —and bye. he’s going to get the food!! ]
Where do they stay?
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[Nope, he's following Falco.]
There's some bread in the cupboard, and a little meat and some vegetables in the refrigerator. If you haven't eaten in a while you should start with something simple just to settle your stomach.
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[ falco wrinkles his nose, but follows the instructions for the food to set on the table. the foods and following, the plates. maybe he'll just have a bread slice— but he nods at the offered advice properly. ]
I brought some ointments to help with the pain.
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I... thanks. You didn't have to.
[He's not sure how well they'll work, since he's already tried things for the pain. But it's a nice gesture, at the very least.]
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On the way back here . . . I was thinking of something.
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What is it?
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