[The weight of a hand on his chest brings his attention back downwards towards Falco, as the treads through the woods back towards town. A sigh of relief escapes him to see the boy awake, even though he can't imagine how much pain he must be in right now. Whatever pain Childe is enduring from the transformation seems trivial in comparison to the lack of an arm that Falco is suffering, even if it's growing back. The boy is so hot in his arms, but that won't stop him from getting him back.]
Falco, [he says softly,] I'm taking you to the hospital. Your arm...you're right, it seems to be growing back, as strange as that is...but I need to make sure you'll be alright.
[He pauses, thinking on how to say this, but perhaps he's thinking about it too hard.]
Your arm...that was an amateur mistake on my part. I'm sorry. I hope you don't hold that against me.
[ falco may never get used to hearing his brother's voice coming from childe's mouth. every time he closes his eyes, even when he keeps them open— his heart flutters and his fingers wish to grasp tighter to a memory that reoccurs. with one hand, the other was still a slowly extending stump. the idea of a hospital immediately stirs the boy, lifting his head in a single shake. that, and again when childe apologizes. ]
Oh— no, of course I won't! I-It's not amateur, you've never seen it before and— [ it was his first time cutting a shifter out of a titan. even the most trained warriors make tiny errors, but errors that could be repaired. falco was in no pain at all, not after the wound quickly closed, added with the dulling ( or healing, in this month's case) effect of his blood. he's tranquil now. calmly and with a swallow, falco sets his hand close to the young man's collar in reassurance. ] I don't need a hospital. I'll take up a bed that someone else could need— I promise I don't need it.
[The Harbinger looks down at Falco's arm in disbelief at that statement. How on earth could he not need to at least be looked at. But again, Falco knows his own power far better than Childe could ever comprehend, and it takes him a second of debating with himself whether he should take Falco anyway.
Perhaps, he should try to understand this better before making that decision.]
Heh, [he laughs worriedly,] that makes me believe this isn't the first time you've lost an appendage. Your titan ability is an incredible power. You'll have to teach it to me sometime, if you don't mind.
[ falco shies a smile away; for what it’s worth, he has lost part of his face, but none of that is evidenced by scars. falco had none, and as long as he remains a shifter, he will have none.
it’s the last part, truly, that the smile is for, waning and apologetic. ]
It’s not really something I could teach . . . [ from a pacifist’s point of view? he’s glad that isn’t the case. there would militarized titans all over the place. besides that— falco wouldn’t wish inheritance on anyone. as grand as the powers are, they come with a devastating price, one falco didn’t have a choice in. ] —And I’m sorry, when we started.
[Ah, he understands. The power itself wasn't a technique, but perhaps something more innate. Not like the Foul Legacy Transformation, which could be taught to others...oh well. Can't say a guy didn't at least ask.]
Hey, there's no need for an apology. For a moment there, I wasn't sure what was going on. Your attacks were so timid at first, but became more and more fierce. I was quite satisfied with that outcome, but it was then I realized what was happening...you coughed up a bit of that slime that would pour out of the mouth of your titan.
[He sighs, the analytical part of him going over the fight again in his mind. Yeah.]
Looks like you were right after all. Too long in that form, and you'll begin to lose control of your titan once again.
[And the worst part is, he doesn't have a clue how he could possibly help Falco deal with that, to fend it off.]
[ and that’s— not good. feeling the strain on his body beginning to weigh as his arm regrows itself (it takes its toll; he’s tired and puts his energy into a few more inches of sun on his stump. he might go the entire day growing it), falco gently rests his head against childe’s arm and chest. ]
I was conscious, but . . . It’s like if someone was taking the wheel of a car away from you. [ it’s more than troubling. ] —I don’t want to fight, but I know I might need to.
[It feels like they'd been defeated. Childe silently curses the fact that they were not back in Teyvat, where he would have had all the resources in the world, literally, to help Falco. Maybe defeated for now, but perhaps...]
I've no doubt that you'll have to call upon your titan once again while we reside here. Had we been in my world, I could have pulled some strings to recruit some of the brightest minds from the Academia to research whatever that thing is that lives inside of you and seal it...but of course, we aren't so lucky. Let's hope one of them washes up upon our shores in the near future. I'll ask them to help.
[He pauses for a moment, thinking again. There's so many things that could go wrong, and he's processing it all.]
I also fear that the more you use it, the faster you'll lose control each time. It may be worth while to simply save it for crucial moments, as I do with my own transformation. It's too bad, but if you truly do not want to fight, you can always leave the bloodshed to myself and others like me. I don't mind taking on that burden. In fact, it's what I enjoy most.
[ falco nods; he has to, quietly despite some hesitation. he's grateful that so many are willing to help. even the help that childe has given now was valuable, to know what was happening. his worries double at the possibility, but one thing was for certain: he only ever did use it for something crucial. today had been the only exception, a test drive that cleared out some doubt. ]
I only ever use it if it's necessary— It wears the body down a lot. [ despite staining it by nonconventional means, falco had been trained to pilot a titan since he was even younger than this. he knows his limits, and should be wary to add more to it, where need be. ] How do you . . . Enjoy it, Childe?
[He gets that feeling. Being worn down by your own power, it's such a pain, but that's just how it goes.
Childe hesitates, realizing that he'd been treating Falco more like an adult just now than the younger boy that he actually is. Perhaps that wasn't fair of him to do, and he regrets saying what he'd just said. Even though Falco has clearly taken on a great responsibility with his titan powers, though Childe has no way of knowing what that responsibility truly is, should he even be talking about killing around someone who is still so young?]
Falco...I apologize. I know you've been through a lot, but I shouldn't be making you face the truths of this world any faster than you already are. Let me put it this way- I was born to fight. So, I enjoy it in any form it comes in, that's all. It's as simple as that.
[That might be the best way of putting it before he goes off into a monologue about slaying powerful foes.]
[ even if he doesn't entirely feel the same, falco makes an effort to understand. the way sparring may simply be a sport, for some— not exactly riddled with trauma. falco rests his head against childe's arm and chest, and from there simply holds him the best he could in a hug, the way childe does him.
[A sad smile unfolds across his features and his eyebrows knit in worry, breathing out a small sigh as Falco's head rests against him. What a cruel world it was, to put him through this. The Harbinger falls silent for a moment to reflect on their battle, the slow change in demeanor as Falco fought him with his titan, and the boy he carried in his arms now-
When his own brother had died as a Waste back in the dream, he couldn't protect him. But maybe he could at least parry the danger from Falco instead.
It's the least he could do.]
Let's get you back home.
[The rest of the trip back is quiet, and he takes Falco home as he'd asked. To let him rest, to let him grow back his arm.]
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Falco, [he says softly,] I'm taking you to the hospital. Your arm...you're right, it seems to be growing back, as strange as that is...but I need to make sure you'll be alright.
[He pauses, thinking on how to say this, but perhaps he's thinking about it too hard.]
Your arm...that was an amateur mistake on my part. I'm sorry. I hope you don't hold that against me.
no subject
Oh— no, of course I won't! I-It's not amateur, you've never seen it before and— [ it was his first time cutting a shifter out of a titan. even the most trained warriors make tiny errors, but errors that could be repaired. falco was in no pain at all, not after the wound quickly closed, added with the dulling ( or healing, in this month's case) effect of his blood. he's tranquil now. calmly and with a swallow, falco sets his hand close to the young man's collar in reassurance. ] I don't need a hospital. I'll take up a bed that someone else could need— I promise I don't need it.
no subject
Perhaps, he should try to understand this better before making that decision.]
Heh, [he laughs worriedly,] that makes me believe this isn't the first time you've lost an appendage. Your titan ability is an incredible power. You'll have to teach it to me sometime, if you don't mind.
no subject
it’s the last part, truly, that the smile is for, waning and apologetic. ]
It’s not really something I could teach . . . [ from a pacifist’s point of view? he’s glad that isn’t the case. there would militarized titans all over the place. besides that— falco wouldn’t wish inheritance on anyone. as grand as the powers are, they come with a devastating price, one falco didn’t have a choice in. ] —And I’m sorry, when we started.
[ he was having a hard time getting into it. ]
But you did really well. You stopped it.
no subject
Hey, there's no need for an apology. For a moment there, I wasn't sure what was going on. Your attacks were so timid at first, but became more and more fierce. I was quite satisfied with that outcome, but it was then I realized what was happening...you coughed up a bit of that slime that would pour out of the mouth of your titan.
[He sighs, the analytical part of him going over the fight again in his mind. Yeah.]
Looks like you were right after all. Too long in that form, and you'll begin to lose control of your titan once again.
[And the worst part is, he doesn't have a clue how he could possibly help Falco deal with that, to fend it off.]
no subject
I was conscious, but . . . It’s like if someone was taking the wheel of a car away from you. [ it’s more than troubling. ] —I don’t want to fight, but I know I might need to.
[ and how, if he’s at odds with this thing? ]
no subject
I've no doubt that you'll have to call upon your titan once again while we reside here. Had we been in my world, I could have pulled some strings to recruit some of the brightest minds from the Academia to research whatever that thing is that lives inside of you and seal it...but of course, we aren't so lucky. Let's hope one of them washes up upon our shores in the near future. I'll ask them to help.
[He pauses for a moment, thinking again. There's so many things that could go wrong, and he's processing it all.]
I also fear that the more you use it, the faster you'll lose control each time. It may be worth while to simply save it for crucial moments, as I do with my own transformation. It's too bad, but if you truly do not want to fight, you can always leave the bloodshed to myself and others like me. I don't mind taking on that burden. In fact, it's what I enjoy most.
no subject
I only ever use it if it's necessary— It wears the body down a lot. [ despite staining it by nonconventional means, falco had been trained to pilot a titan since he was even younger than this. he knows his limits, and should be wary to add more to it, where need be. ] How do you . . . Enjoy it, Childe?
no subject
Childe hesitates, realizing that he'd been treating Falco more like an adult just now than the younger boy that he actually is. Perhaps that wasn't fair of him to do, and he regrets saying what he'd just said. Even though Falco has clearly taken on a great responsibility with his titan powers, though Childe has no way of knowing what that responsibility truly is, should he even be talking about killing around someone who is still so young?]
Falco...I apologize. I know you've been through a lot, but I shouldn't be making you face the truths of this world any faster than you already are. Let me put it this way- I was born to fight. So, I enjoy it in any form it comes in, that's all. It's as simple as that.
[That might be the best way of putting it before he goes off into a monologue about slaying powerful foes.]
we can start wrapping up here maybe!
[ even if he doesn't entirely feel the same, falco makes an effort to understand. the way sparring may simply be a sport, for some— not exactly riddled with trauma. falco rests his head against childe's arm and chest, and from there simply holds him the best he could in a hug, the way childe does him.
he's glad to have him. ]
sounds good to me!
When his own brother had died as a Waste back in the dream, he couldn't protect him. But maybe he could at least parry the danger from Falco instead.
It's the least he could do.]
Let's get you back home.
[The rest of the trip back is quiet, and he takes Falco home as he'd asked. To let him rest, to let him grow back his arm.]