[ . . . ah. kind of like when the world before the weapon revolution used war horses and put them down if they broke anything that made their purpose arduous and useless. or, even in more recent times when soldiers were too far off from any medical salvage and still kept taking breaths. not just a lack of limbs, no, people can survive those, he considers those with holes in them, infantrymen split in half by shell bombing and still conscious, barely hanging on and unable to let go. falco can’t say he didn’t know mercy killing existed or hadn’t seen its practice in some form— hadn’t that been what mister zeke wanted . . . ? after a lengthy stretch of looking at the darkened sky of an autumn’s evening, he sighs through his nose and rests his hand on his branded nape. ]
. . . I understand.
[ even if he doesn’t like it; he dislikes what brought them to it, as a whole. ]
What’ll we do once he comes back? He’s, [ falco swallows, presses his lips together, and sees again, in the downcast glance at soil and stray leaves, the hate that drove gabi from one murder to the next. ] going to be really mad.
[People do what they do, after all. What makes them feel humane, alive. It's more than that, for him - a ponderous connection he's not sure has any space to be here.
Falco brings up an invariably good question, though - what will they do with -60, once he resets? Ethan's brows pinch as he considers.
The reality is that their location is going to make him inconvenient, personally. It'd taken such a damn long time to even get here, finding -60 afterward is...]
{I'm not sure. Even if I was half as my leader in speaking to others, I... Don't really think I'd be able to catch up to him.} [Especially not if he does what he thinks he will, and takes the penalty for the android. It's the last thing he'd thought would happen - well, no. It's among the later thoughts. Taking a metaphorical bullet for -60, of all people?] {Getting to him to stop whatever he gets in his head is important. Even he ought to need a minute to collect his thoughts after all this. He was... In pretty bad shape, as far as I could tell.}
[Some part of him is aware of just how much wishful thinking this is, but he blatantly ignores it. For one long, painful moment, he can let himself believe, can't he? It would be best if -60 takes a moment to really consider where he stands, where to prioritise what order...
Admin had told him to reconsider, but that's not how he is. Even machines don't deserve to just be reprogrammed because you fucked up and made them work arguably more as intended.
He knows, on some level, he's underestimating the vindictive streak in his ally.
He knows full well how easy it'll be to want to push forward despite everything logical screaming to stop.
He knows... But maybe that's why.
It probably won't change anything.
His actions might just be pain for himself.
That's alright.
He wishes Dolvaa were here. At least then -60 could talk with someone who actually understands how to talk through his thoughts.
'I don't pity you, Ethan, because pity suggests that there is no way to move forward. Pity is the bitter taste that--'
He exhales a shaking breath, running a hand through his hair.]
{If I can make it to him, I'd like to take to him, but I'm likely to make it worse somehow. I'm bad at holding my tongue when it comes to my feelings on the ones who built him.
Getting his focus on anything else would be best, even for a minute, else he's probably going to have to deal with whatever reprogramming the Admin thinks is best. This isn't sustainable for anyone.}
[His shoulders sag at the thought. He'll have tried, at least.]
[ his focus . . . getting his focus . . . there’s something that falco does consider, but he withholds the thought to himself. it wasn’t a sure way and he wasn’t supposed to tell anyone to start. what if he could quell him for just a minute? what if -60 attacked him instead, was it better than attacking connor? and what about the other way around—?
it’s something that he ends up pressing away, for now, ducking his head and telling himself to think things through one step at a time. the first: ]
After we find him, I’ll go back home. I’ll try and talk to Mister Connor— if I get a head start, I think I’ll be fast enough. I just in case.
[Thinking on the future, Ethan decides, is better than thinking on the possibilities of what's to come. It helps to push past the ball of anxiety and self-loathing that's been slowly but surely building since he finally talked to -60.]
{That's the best idea, I think. I'd say to take care of yourself, but I doubt you need the reminder, and you'll do what you think is best regardless.}
[There's little inflection in the voice for obvious reason, but there's fondness on his face. Ethan's opinion is pretty clear, when it comes to Falco - he's young, but he's trustworthy.]
[ mm— at least he’s getting approval for it, out of all other options. he nods in understanding to take care of himself. ]
We all do.
[ do what we think is best, he means. that goes for just about everyone. falco gives ethan’s shoulder a touch— a response to the trust he’s being given, before it slips down to his side, and so dips his head.
now, in this evening chill, they’ll have to wait. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
. . . I understand.
[ even if he doesn’t like it; he dislikes what brought them to it, as a whole. ]
What’ll we do once he comes back? He’s, [ falco swallows, presses his lips together, and sees again, in the downcast glance at soil and stray leaves, the hate that drove gabi from one murder to the next. ] going to be really mad.
no subject
Falco brings up an invariably good question, though - what will they do with -60, once he resets? Ethan's brows pinch as he considers.
The reality is that their location is going to make him inconvenient, personally. It'd taken such a damn long time to even get here, finding -60 afterward is...]
{I'm not sure. Even if I was half as my leader in speaking to others, I... Don't really think I'd be able to catch up to him.} [Especially not if he does what he thinks he will, and takes the penalty for the android. It's the last thing he'd thought would happen - well, no. It's among the later thoughts. Taking a metaphorical bullet for -60, of all people?] {Getting to him to stop whatever he gets in his head is important. Even he ought to need a minute to collect his thoughts after all this. He was... In pretty bad shape, as far as I could tell.}
[Some part of him is aware of just how much wishful thinking this is, but he blatantly ignores it. For one long, painful moment, he can let himself believe, can't he? It would be best if -60 takes a moment to really consider where he stands, where to prioritise what order...
Admin had told him to reconsider, but that's not how he is. Even machines don't deserve to just be reprogrammed because you fucked up and made them work arguably more as intended.
He knows, on some level, he's underestimating the vindictive streak in his ally.
He knows full well how easy it'll be to want to push forward despite everything logical screaming to stop.
He knows... But maybe that's why.
It probably won't change anything.
His actions might just be pain for himself.
That's alright.
He wishes Dolvaa were here. At least then -60 could talk with someone who actually understands how to talk through his thoughts.
'I don't pity you, Ethan, because pity suggests that there is no way to move forward. Pity is the bitter taste that--'
He exhales a shaking breath, running a hand through his hair.]
{If I can make it to him, I'd like to take to him, but I'm likely to make it worse somehow. I'm bad at holding my tongue when it comes to my feelings on the ones who built him.
Getting his focus on anything else would be best, even for a minute, else he's probably going to have to deal with whatever reprogramming the Admin thinks is best. This isn't sustainable for anyone.}
[His shoulders sag at the thought. He'll have tried, at least.]
no subject
it’s something that he ends up pressing away, for now, ducking his head and telling himself to think things through one step at a time. the first: ]
After we find him, I’ll go back home. I’ll try and talk to Mister Connor— if I get a head start, I think I’ll be fast enough. I just in case.
[ and that was a start. ]
no subject
{That's the best idea, I think. I'd say to take care of yourself, but I doubt you need the reminder, and you'll do what you think is best regardless.}
[There's little inflection in the voice for obvious reason, but there's fondness on his face. Ethan's opinion is pretty clear, when it comes to Falco - he's young, but he's trustworthy.]
no subject
We all do.
[ do what we think is best, he means. that goes for just about everyone. falco gives ethan’s shoulder a touch— a response to the trust he’s being given, before it slips down to his side, and so dips his head.
now, in this evening chill, they’ll have to wait. ]