[it's a few days later, and anna feels terrible. in many different ways. falco, she'd be loath to admit, was not the first person she responded to. it had taken her a moment to actually... well, to remember what had happened. she guessed that that was just what happened when someone died; she'd never really done it before, after all.]
Jesus Christ, Falco, I'm so sorry. You don't have to reply if you don't want to. I'll understand. But fuck. I didn't mean to. I wasn't in control.
[ falco had been without his omni for days moving into july’s first week. he hadn’t been home since washing up back onto shore, finding himself too large and possibly too dangerous to walk around districts as populated (and agitated) as crenshaw, much less fly there. he’d send perle eventually to fetch confetti, who would bring him the food he could as well as the omni that had been sitting at his nightstand since the sixth, the eighth, and the eleventh. anna doesn’t receive a prompt message in turn, and not because the boy doesn’t wish to see it or talk. if anything to soothe her conscience, her message was left unread and unseen.
until it wasn’t, of course. on the thirteenth, two types of messages come through. the first, the worst attempt. what was he even thinking would happen? the pointed end of a single talon takes up the entire keyboard space and sends: ]
kdhsjd:phdms
[ the second attempt was voice to text with perle’s aid. that wasn’t the best idea either, because that wasn’t exactly the option he was aiming for: ]
RRRRGRRRRGRRRGRRR EEEEEEKKKKKKSH
[ the pygmy falcon omen with have to translate signing for him until he figured out the thoughts-to-text option. finally, coherence: ]
[she's shuddering in her bed. each breath hurts, but that's to be expected after what had happened to her. she takes a moment to cough as she tries to bring herself to say what it is she actually did, but she gets halfway through the word and her fingers fall still. there's no apparent reaction to the false starts, but only because if she were just recovering from being killed, she'd type the same way.]
[ha, ha.]
[it takes too long to follow up past that. she would say she's trying a different approach, but trying implies a clarity of purpose and nothing about what she's doing is clear right now.]
I'd ask if I can help you get anything, but I'm in the same shape as you right now.
[ hopefully, that’s coherent enough to get the point across. it wasn’t as if anna truly wished to harm him. she made a choice and it was out of her control from there.
although it does pose another question, tied to what he feared would’ve happened to her. she still died. someone still killed her, in the end. ]
[ falco doesn’t recall knowing someone by that name. he’s certainly met john without realizing it, though, during paul’s birthday in an attempt to give his egg creature, confetti, a place to nap (and himself, too). it’s too bad he accidentally broke into god’s bedroom in the process. ]
[not to most people. maybe her brain is still muddled, but she is having a very, very hard time describing john as a definitive evil to herself. he has a way of sneaking his way into her heart (and detonating it from the inside). and she hates it. it should be easy, given everything he's done. but god damn it, she can't yet. she can't get over it. when she's more together, maybe she'll be able to put words to it.]
John, or Teacher, or Captain, or the Emperor, or That Guy With The Skeletons. Dark skin, black eyes. He hosted a house party a few months ago. He is not our friend. He's a bad man.
[ if it was something so rough that anna made herself a beast through the reckoning, through justice— it was something bad. very, very bad, but he wasn't sure whether it was a good idea to pry through that yet. instead, he nibbles along the edges for an understanding. it at least confirms one thing for him, as he sifts through his bank of memories. ]
Met him at party . Off , scary but treat kind . Kindness not real ? Or John make mistake ?
[god. of course. it fits with absolutely everything that she knows and everything that john has shown her. she doesn't want to overwhelm falco, but she might have to, just to make her point clear.]
He treated me the same way. We had a really good conversation about his home, Before he used me as bait to murder a boat full of pirates in a ritual to kill Mariana. John's made a lot of mistakes, but everything on the boat, everything that led to me running up that hill and meeting with the Reckoning, that was on purpose. He is not a good person. He's just really good at pretending.
[ his gut wrenches tightly even though his hunch had been on track. death and killing had been in the cards. there's nothing viler that humanity would kill for, back and forth. she had been angry, before. angry. why was anna bait?
it came up on its own. he takes it, with a chilled heart, down to the core, and asks after a waning pause. ]
[ah, christ. that's a loaded question, isn't it. she doesn't even know yet. she saw the ping in the group chat, yes, no matter how fucking hard seeing paul atreides makes her blood boil these days. she opens it up despite it all just to listen to midoriya's voice again. listen to him declare kainé dead and herself missing. she sighs. it takes a moment.]
The last I heard, Gideon, Oscar, and Kainé were dead. Gideon and Kainé are back.
[though not with anna. which is fantastic, sure. great. fine.]
You and I were marked as missing. So was someone named Chara. I don't know much more, but it seems like things are really bad right now.
[ he knew most of them, either by word or sight. if it was already icing up— now falco felt it. he felt his entire chest ice over and drop so hard he pulled a whipping breath between his teeth. he wasn’t even there, he was still putting the pieces together. he’s only now picked up his omni. how does he look through it? he can’t. he physically can’t. there’s so much perle could do for him before it started getting confusing.
It's fine. We couldn't do anything to stop it. I saw Gideon go overboard, and John let it happen. He let her die.
[she doesn't want to think about the others. she can't remember it all yet. she's still having so many problems piecing together what happened; it's still such a blur. she only remembers the major events, but of course she would.]
I wish I'd been able to hold myself back. Maybe then you wouldn't be on that list, too.
[no, none of it is fine, really. she has to live with this on her conscience forever, and she knows that she got off easy. she put falco in this state. she probably caused unrest that she's not even allowed to see anymore. john might have been the conductor, but she was first chair in his orchestra.]
[beth wouldn't recognize the person she is today, she thinks idly, out of nowhere, and she inhales sharply. it turns into a cough. everything does, lately.]
[ god dang, anna. it hurts his heart. he didn’t want to win— much less did he want to be a hero. ]
Just wanted you back .
[ it was more about being human toward her even when there had been so little of humanity left on the surface of raven wings and a vileblood coated blade. there had been acceptance toward what happened to him the second he empathized with her in the sky and saw the blade swing for the titan’s neck. he wishes to look forward to what he can do now, or at least from here onwards. that can change things. ]
Wish to see you But can’t, now Dangerous I am dangerous . And you need rest . Will you wait for me ?
[yeah, she says to herself. muttering it under her breath like she has a reason for anyone to overhear. i'm dangerous too, kid. she sighs and keeps it together long enough to reply, grateful that her anemia can't show over text.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
7/11
Jesus Christ, Falco, I'm so sorry.
You don't have to reply if you don't want to. I'll understand.
But fuck. I didn't mean to. I wasn't in control.
no subject
until it wasn’t, of course. on the thirteenth, two types of messages come through. the first, the worst attempt. what was he even thinking would happen? the pointed end of a single talon takes up the entire keyboard space and sends: ]
kdhsjd:phdms
[ the second attempt was voice to text with perle’s aid. that wasn’t the best idea either, because that wasn’t exactly the option he was aiming for: ]
RRRRGRRRRGRRRGRRR
EEEEEEKKKKKKSH
[ the pygmy falcon omen with have to translate signing for him until he figured out the thoughts-to-text option. finally, coherence: ]
I know Miss Anna .
Why not respond to you?
no subject
[she's shuddering in her bed. each breath hurts, but that's to be expected after what had happened to her. she takes a moment to cough as she tries to bring herself to say what it is she actually did, but she gets halfway through the word and her fingers fall still. there's no apparent reaction to the false starts, but only because if she were just recovering from being killed, she'd type the same way.]
[ha, ha.]
[it takes too long to follow up past that. she would say she's trying a different approach, but trying implies a clarity of purpose and nothing about what she's doing is clear right now.]
I'd ask if I can help you get anything, but I'm in the same shape as you right now.
no subject
[ hopefully, that’s coherent enough to get the point across. it wasn’t as if anna truly wished to harm him. she made a choice and it was out of her control from there.
although it does pose another question, tied to what he feared would’ve happened to her. she still died. someone still killed her, in the end. ]
How long since wake up ?
no subject
I woke up yesterday, I think.
He killed me right after I
[ugh. she sighs. leaves it there, unsent for a moment, then finally, finally brings herself to finish the sentence.]
killed you.
John.
no subject
John is friend ?
no subject
[not to most people. maybe her brain is still muddled, but she is having a very, very hard time describing john as a definitive evil to herself. he has a way of sneaking his way into her heart (and detonating it from the inside). and she hates it. it should be easy, given everything he's done. but god damn it, she can't yet. she can't get over it. when she's more together, maybe she'll be able to put words to it.]
John, or Teacher, or Captain, or the Emperor, or That Guy With The Skeletons.
Dark skin, black eyes. He hosted a house party a few months ago.
He is not our friend. He's a bad man.
no subject
Met him at party .
Off , scary
but treat kind .
Kindness not real ? Or John make mistake ?
no subject
He treated me the same way. We had a really good conversation about his home,
Before he used me as bait to murder a boat full of pirates in a ritual to kill Mariana.
John's made a lot of mistakes, but everything on the boat, everything that led to me running up that hill and meeting with the Reckoning, that was on purpose.
He is not a good person. He's just really good at pretending.
no subject
it came up on its own. he takes it, with a chilled heart, down to the core, and asks after a waning pause. ]
Others okay ?
no subject
The last I heard, Gideon, Oscar, and Kainé were dead.
Gideon and Kainé are back.
[though not with anna. which is fantastic, sure. great. fine.]
You and I were marked as missing. So was someone named Chara.
I don't know much more, but it seems like things are really bad right now.
no subject
but his eyes still sting, for everyone. ]
I so sorry
no subject
We couldn't do anything to stop it.
I saw Gideon go overboard, and John let it happen. He let her die.
[she doesn't want to think about the others. she can't remember it all yet. she's still having so many problems piecing together what happened; it's still such a blur. she only remembers the major events, but of course she would.]
I wish I'd been able to hold myself back. Maybe then you wouldn't be on that list, too.
no subject
We died , people hurt
People still hurting in heart .
[ . . . ]
You made choice Miss Anna
I make mine , I know risk .
I not mad .
no subject
[beth wouldn't recognize the person she is today, she thinks idly, out of nowhere, and she inhales sharply. it turns into a cough. everything does, lately.]
I wish you had won.
You'd be a hero.
no subject
Just wanted you back .
[ it was more about being human toward her even when there had been so little of humanity left on the surface of raven wings and a vileblood coated blade. there had been acceptance toward what happened to him the second he empathized with her in the sky and saw the blade swing for the titan’s neck. he wishes to look forward to what he can do now, or at least from here onwards. that can change things. ]
Wish to see you
But can’t, now
Dangerous
I am dangerous .
And you need rest .
Will you wait for me ?
no subject
Of course I will, Falco.
For as long as it takes.
no subject
Rest well Miss Anna ,
Will look as soon as normal .